School is getting better.

I think that the biggest problem out of all my problems with school right now is that I'm lazy... just downright lazy. I have so many things to read and I never want to do it... It's like, the hardest part is to start reading... after that, I quickly that realize reading isn't so bad; it's actually something I enjoy. I'm still confused about it all... Maybe as time passes, school will get clearer... Maybe.

Bittersweet poetry

Enjoy these days Raymond; these days are numbered. Magic number: 2

Wintsprummer vacation is just about over... I can't wait to start using my brain again.

9 days left.

So far, 2011 has been pretty uneventful. There have been a few highlights (NYE in LV, visiting my Dad) but that's been about it. I know most of my friends from Sac will be back in school in a couple days, and now that I'm out here in SF just chillaxin' with family, I feel sort of left behind. As if I'm being left behind while the minds of my peers are off to bloom in ways I won't be able to experience. I'm still stuck in this imaginary intermediary place, a place where I'm not sure if I'm still in school or if I'm done, and out in the real world.

I thought about it like this... What if I don't get into a Master's program? So then I apply again the following school year right? But what if by then, I find a job, acclimate, and then lose all motivation and drive to pursue graduate school? AND/OR (a year later!), I'd have to re-request letters of recommendation? What if they are off somewhere where I can't reach them? Or if they're unwilling to rewrite letters? Where would I go from there?

It almost feels as if this is my one legitimate shot at graduate school; it's now or never. I need this, because it will affect the rest of my life. All the more motivation to finish my personal statements in the next few days and finally get these applications sent off.

*crosses fingers*

Also, here's my favorite song... pretty much for about a year now.

SLO. Pre-Finals Week.

Just went for a quick run. I'm starting to just enjoy the simple act of going out for a run. It's seriously one of the most mind-clearing things you can do, and it just makes you feel more uplifted.

Tonight, (rather, at the ass-crack of dawn tomorrow) Me, Justin, and Sam are driving down to SLO to watch my homie Ricky graduate college. It's amazing, especially since I know that this time next week, I'll be a college graduate. I can't believe that I'm about to accomplish something that I've always wanted to accomplish. I feel so blessed. I'm dedicating my accomplishment to my Lola Pepay, who always stressed the importance of education in my life. I miss her.

Finals week is here. How do you want to remember this moment 1 week from now?

StudentHacks.org

How to Write a Great Term Paper in One Evening.

This is probably about the 4th or 5th time I'm using this article to help me write a term paper. I find that every semester since I've been at Sac State, I've had to use this at least once to write a paper.

Read the article though! It really helps me whenever I get stuck in a rut to remind me what I'm actually supposed to be doing. Definitely bookmark it. :)

Overwhelmed.

I'm overwhelmed with my thoughts. There are certain things I can't stop thinking about. There are so many things I can't stop worrying about. There are so many unknowns right now in my life. I'm not complaining about my school workload, I mean, I DO have a busy semester, but that's not what I'm really just overwhelmed with right now. I'm more overwhelmed about everything else.

Family because I only get to see them every so often. I saw my mom for the first time in about 2 months today. I was so happy to see her. Now that I'm back home, I already really miss my mom. All of my other family, I miss them all too, and I can't wait til we all have a big family gathering again.

Friends because I know that my time is limited here in Sacramento. I have NO friends in San Francisco anymore. I hate starting over. I remember going into 10th grade, having to make the transition to school in suburban Napa. Then having to transition into Sacramento. It almost feels now like I'm taking a step backwards, in-time or something, where I'm back to my hometown, but without my friends who are always there for me. Plus the fact that I'll be out of school for at least 8 months. What am I gonna do with my life? I don't wanna end up like my cousin Joseph, just sitting on my ass all day playing video games (I'd rather hang myself than live such a useless lifestyle). Anyway, the point being is that all my friends I've made in the past 2 years here in Sacramento won't be around anymore... That really makes me sad. Like really, really sad. I was talking to my older cousin today, and she told me that, "That's life, you constantly make new friends, leave the old ones behind, and some lucky ones stay with you through all throughout your life. Those are the ones you really should keep close to your heart." So, how do I know if I've already found some of these lifelong friends??? I do have some really close friends, but how do I really know if this will be where we part our ways? Things like this really make me nervous. I have a hard time letting things go, and this doesn't seem to be any different. No matter what however, (as part of my moving-away bucket list) I want to make sure that these people know how much I care about them, and how much they mean to me.

On a side note, there are a couple people who are really just getting on my nerves right now for the way they're treating me. I've never, ever done anything to get on their bad side. How could you seriously consider me as a friend and then be a bitch to me.....seriously no kidding, I don't get any respect back from you... I am a good friend and a good person, I know that for a fact... and I really don't deserve the treatment I get from you. I'll just consider our brief friendship a "quickie".

Bills because well, I'm about to be a jobless college graduate. Through my 4 1/2 years of undergrad, I've accrued quite the standard student credit card debt, among other forms of debt. I know that my degree is pretty much useless if I wanna work in my field, so I know that more school is in order, but all this debt is starting to make me worry. Hopefully, I find a part time job in the mean time, and pay off all of my debts because I hate having debt. It's seriously a constant stress that I ALWAYS force myself to ignore because I know that right now, I can't afford to pay any of it off since I'm still a student without income.  It sucks...

Grad school because I NEED to get in. There's no question about it.... If I don't get in, I'm screwed. If I don't get in, my major was a waste of time. I love psychology, but I should have picked something where a Bachelor's degree would make money. -___- Hindsight is always 20/20.

School is also somewhere on my list of things that overwhelm me, but honestly, I feel that all these other things worry me more because they are somewhat out of my control at the moment. School is totally up to me. Whether or not I get a 4.0 or a 2.0 semester is up to me. That's why I'm not too worried about school, because I know that I control MY destiny. School is that internal locus of control in my life, everything else just seems to be out of my control.

Soo, after all of these things that I'm worried about, I just want to make my last days here as fun as possible. I really hope that I'm able to just chill with all my friends, be happy, and make sure that my last memories being in Sacramento are good ones that I'll remember for a long time. I don't wanna remember Sacramento as being a negative experience. I mean Sacramento was my first dabble in being an independent person, living without my parents. Trust me, I was far from independent financially... I'm sure I was actually very fiscally irresponsible actually. Hahah, I guess that's part of the learning process that is college.

But really the past 2 years have been great to me. I grew as a person, experienced soooo may new things, met so many new people, kept up with a bunch of friends from high school, traveled a bunch, and created friendships that will *hopefully* stay with me for the rest of my life. It deeply saddens me that I know this chapter of life will be ending soon.

I'm sorry I rambled, but if you read all that, you'll probably get a glimpse of what's been going through my head lately... Yes, I know that these are such insignificant things that don't really matter in the long term. You're probably also getting a glimpse of how naive I am... I usually end up reading my blog, laughing at myself because of how naive I was when I wrote whatever it was that I wrote...

Currently...

Currently,

I'm in the AIRC, not really studying or anything... Blogging actually at the moment.

Actually the purpose of my being here is to write my personal statement for graduate schools. So far here's what I've got written... And yes, I've revised this many times; trying to think of the best way to word it. It may need much more revising after this. Here's my "attention-getter"...

"As a young boy growing up in the city of San Francisco, one day my mother asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I always remember my answer being, “I want to be a successful businessman working in downtown San Francisco, and I want a briefcase.” At the age of 8, I was very interested in business; how it was structured, and how money was made within the walls of a company’s building. Life has since then progressed, now finding myself studying psychology as my major. I have a passion to understand how people function; how people think, how people act, and therefore make predictions about their future behavior based on the study of psychology. My childhood aspiration has now evolved into an interest in the field of Industrial/Organizational Psychology. My purpose of wanting to pursue a graduate education is to blend the two: my childhood dream, and my passion, into a meaningful career."

-Yes, more work needs to be done... but it's a work in progress.

- I'll be applying to SFSU and SJSU soon. Not applying to Sac State anymore since I missed the Psyc GRE registration deadline. Hopefully I get into SF State (It's a 2-year MS program), it'll be a welcome transition for me because I grew up in San Francisco. I miss living in the city by the bay. 

-At least in 2 months, I'll be back where I belong... If all goes according to plan. 

The Well

Wow, I'm in love with The Well... It almost makes me want to stay at Sac State for another semester! LOL. Seriously though, the place is state of the art, awesome, and there are so many things to do. Today I played racketball and worked chest and triceps. So much fun... Aghhhhh!!!

Thursdays...

Ok, If I'm only taking 3 academic classes this semester, how did I end up being in 6 different classes today?

Psyc 104: 7:30-8:45
Psyc 8 (TA): 10:30-11:45
Psyc 107: 12:00-1:15
Psyc 101 (TA): 1:30-2:45 (should have went til 4:15, but got out early)
Psyc 8 (TA): 3:00-4:15
Psyc 108: 4:30-5:45

What a day... I feel like I learned A LOT.

I'm gonna enjoy my last semester as an undergrad. I hope.

8 Days.

8 more days until I know I'll be done with summer school. Like, for good. Like FOREVER. (Not unless there's some retarded Master's degree program that offers summer classes, and at the chance that I might need to take those classes in order to finish my degree) BUT... other than that, I DON'T think I'll be worrying about summer classes ever again.

2 more lectures and a final exam. Then I'll have 13 days to diddle-daddle around before my last first day of class (as an undergrad).... Marching Band... Lolwut?

Oh yeah, and I've started to study for the GRE which is happening in 37 days. Wooh!

The weekends don't stand a chance.

The weekends are getting shorter and shorter. I swear, school for some reason, just creeps back up to you faster and faster. Funny thing is, I have school 2 days a week! Oh summer school, how I despise thee.

Some cowboy action right there...

I had a good weekend in Santa Cruz with my niece Rosemary's 17th birthday last Saturday. I'm not sure about all the fuss about where I was sleeping and who was gonna drive, but it was all handled better than I expected. Santa Cruz was beautiful, with all the nice, luke warm weather I was hoping for.

I'm glad my flip-flops didn't fall off.

I took some video of me and my cousins riding the Giant Dipper which turned out to be some pretty intense footage.

Anyway, after all the excitement, we headed back to the bay area around 11pm. (One side note) On the way home in the middle of the Santa Cruz Mountains, I spotted a car on fire in a turnout. I pulled over and the owner of the car on fire quickly asked me to call 911. I did, explained to the operator where we were, and while I was on the phone, the car started to explode. I knew that it would be a matter of seconds before the flames reached the gas tank. After the 2nd explosion under the hood, I knew that it was time to leave before me and my family could have been seriously injured. Knowing that a firetruck was on its way, I bounced as fast as I could. My biggest surprise is that no one else on scene (people were stopping to see if they could help) called 911. They just stood there, admiring that flaming car. SMH. I don't understand. At least I made the call and helped out in some way.

Gotta love family pictures.

The next day was a Rosie's birthday lunch with the rest of the family. I'm glad I was able to see Tony and his daughter Milan. I really missed seeing them all the time when I would go to San Francisco. After the lunch, we all gathered around and took this family photo...

Soon after, I got in my car, and drove the long and dull drive back to Sacramento, where it was back to reality... and school. Ugh... School... It's a lovehate thing.

irony

What happened to my motivation to do school work?

This is what my research project is ALL about and yet I can't even find some motivation to start this Psyc lab assignment.

This sucks.

Saturday through sunday Monday, Monday through Sunday yo..

Looks like Winterline is over. At least after Wednesday it will be. I guess I can go back to normal life. Whatever that is.

I wanted to perform at champs, but NCBA couldn't slot us in so whatevs.

Still, there's much to look forward to this year... BUT for now, I could use a break from drumline and focus more on school.

Still gotta file a graduation petition for the fall (hella late I know). Also, I should finish my Spanish HW. That would be a good idea. AND finish my HSA before Wednesday.

Spring Break is sooo close.

I'm trying to find $260 for a plane ticket to Ontario next Sunday for Easter Dinner with my Dad's side of the family. Then I want to spend a few days in Riverside just chillin' with fam, and visiting my Dad. Too bad I'm totally broke and have no money to pay for the trip...

Kuwawa Face.

Last Show

Del Oro will be Sac State's last show; we're not going to NCBA champs... Big disappointment.

Oh well. I guess that just gives me more options for what to do with the beginning of my Spring Break 2010. Wooo. A week away!!! Or basically it's:

9 classes,

1 HSA,

4 days of Spanish HW I've missed,

and 1 midterm away.

So close. Looking forward to seeing my Dad.

4 weeks in...

I've been blogging less and less lately. Maybe since my life has gotten progressively less interesting.. haha. maybe.

Anyway, just to keep my blog updated with my life....

I got a new phone after my 2 years having an iPhone. I got the MyTouch 3G from T-Mobile. I like it so far, but there are a few things I miss from my iPhone. Oh well, it was definitely time for an update. Out with the old in with the new.

I've been concentrating more at school lately. Such as not daydreaming whenever I find the lecture boring or not going on Facebook during class. I think it's all the caffeine I take in during the week that helps me not fall asleep in lecture/lab... etc.

Me and my partner have finally came up with an appropriate research project. Our goal is to conduct a study which we find a correlation between the amount of work and job satisfaction one has to what their academic performance and perceived importance of education is to them. We hope get approved by the Human Subjects board so we can start our research soon... Which reminds me, I need to finish my ethics certificate ASAP!

I'm still going to the gym 5-6 times per week. It's been more than 3 months and I feel much better not just physically, but mentally/emotionally. My concentration & psychological state of mind has gone up as a result. I feel better, and that's all that matters to me. I'm going to continue this for as long as I find it beneficial to myself.

The last thing on my mind is a certain person. I even remember blogging about her last year. I don't think anyone would be able to guess who this person is because it's been one secret I haven't told ANYONE. Yes, I tell people some secrets about my personal life, but this secret has been my true secret. I actually think about this person a few times a week just because I miss her. I've known her for the past few years and she's always been a sweetheart to me. I don't think she'll ever get the chance to know how I feel.

Nikki - The-Dream

Haven't blogged in a week...

...Mainly because I've been really active on my Twitter lately.

I so wish I could be at the Jack's Mannequin concert right now.

I'm gonna be in Vallejo tomorrow. Gonna get to see my Mommy! Yay!

Anyway, my week has been so-so. I actually didn't drive to school at all this week, I started biking to school since it sorta is faster than driving ONLY when parking is bad. Anywho, it's something new to do before and after school so I welcome it. Only downside is that I bought a $153 parking permit for a reason, so I might as well use it right? Lol.

Psyc 102 is starting to kick into gear. Me and my partner get to design a psychological research experiment as our term project and we get to (ab)use psyc 1, 5, & 8 students in our sample. Lol. I finally feel like an upperclassman now that I get to study these kids who're taking the lower division psyc classes.

I'm enjoying my 4-day weekends. I feel rejuvenated. School is fun again. Sac State Winter is doing alright. This semester will be tough, but I'm ready for it. I'm gonna apply to graduate in the Fall 2010 and I can now see that my undergrad years are almost done! With aspirations of grad school, doing well in school is my focus right now... BUT, it doesn't hurt that there are like 10 cute girls (i.e., distractions) in each of my classes. Haha! Maybe I'll one day get the courage to ask one of them out on a date. 'Til then, I'll just stay under the radar... Man, I love college.

and then there were 5

So now, there are 5 snares in the SSWE.

I have ZERO complaints about slimming down to 5 snares. However, I do miss having Davyan in the snareline... he's basically ripping the quadline a new one now. Still some dirt in the snareline but we're close to getting everything together. Now the line is at 5-3-5... It's the perfect indoor size for us (I think). Woot woot!

BTW, I dropped Psyc 107...My bad Darren! This just means I have Mondays and Fridays off now. 4 day weekends every week! Nice. Still, T,Th are my long days.

School is...

...going well. One of my classes is basically a graduate school-level course so I basically will have my hands full with that and 16 units. I'm not sure how this whole work thing is going to pan out with my school schedule, winterline practices & shows, family, and social life. Other people do the work thing on top of all that, but usually they end up with crappy grades. I'm not sure if a few $$$ extra per week is worth the potential drop in grades. Plus, so far, I'm very happy with my grades at Sac State (mainly from not having a job and being able to focus on school). I don't know whether or not to pursue a part time job. Plus, I have no idea who's hiring.

Ay Caramba.

Last Night

Last night was off the hook. Close to 50 people showed up to our apartment. To those who got the invite but didn't come, you seriously missed out. The jello shots were perfect! Cops came around 2 am (our stupid new neighbors decided we were being too loud), so we had to shut it down soon after. Selected pics will be posted on Facebook sometime soon. I say "selected" because there are a bunch of pics that are just not appropriate for posting. lol.

Well here we go, one last day of Winter break. I'll be watching the playoffs, doing laundry, and probably hitting up the gym. I'm gonna miss sleeping in... :'(

Spring '10

This always happens to me a week before school starts... I start to say to myself, "I really miss school. I can't wait for it to start." I find myself doing the same thing now that school is 8 days away. I still need to buy my books, parking pass, and maybe a few school supplies. I have a really cool schedule this semester... Basically my school week starts at 4pm on Mondays, and ends at 3pm on Thursdays... Sac State Winterline gets thrown in between somewhere there. No school at all on Fridays, something that I've wanted badly since I was at NVC during Fall '08.

Now that I have Fridays off, plus I don't start 'til late afternoon on Mondays, I figure I can work during those times since living in Sac isn't the cheapest thing in the world. I still don't know how I managed to live comfortably here in Sac without having a job. I just remember my last few months of the past two semesters at CSUS having barely any money in my bank account. I hope that doesn't happen again this semester since I hope to find a job. I've been searching the past 2 weeks for a job without luck. I'm think I'm gonna have to apply to a few more places. [sigh]

Sac State Winter Ensemble is also coming together. We have music ahead of time this year! Wooo! Haha, unlike last year where I remember the whole battery learning the last half of the show (drill and music), the week before NCBA champs (which was our only FULL show, lol). The battery is gonna be 7-3-5. I'm not sure about such a big snareline, but I guess we can all hang. The beats aren't too tough for me individually per se, but as a snareline, I'm hoping to be able to blend and play together since the book looks pretty beefy (battery-wise). I'm hoping that we don't fall behind this year and have a show by the beginning of March.

Man, I hope I get a job soon. Oh, and that song at the top on the right sidebar, I'm addicted to that song right now. I blame Michelle Phan.