February Air

This has been the most difficult month to process so far. My heart misses you. I feel abandoned by you. I feel like I gave you what I could, and you still left. You never believed me when I said I gave you everything I could. It's like I tried my hardest and no matter what I did, it wasn't enough. I thought that marriage was a certain type of bond; for better or for worse. Things got hard, and it fell apart. It wasn't totally dead, but we killed it with our words. Now, to hear about one of us moving on... Feels like not only I've lost you for good, but that what I've done to fill my hole hasn't filled anything, but just created a deeper cut into my heart and it feels meaningless without you. I have a hard time moving on with my life... trying to fill the void left with meaningful relationships.