burning the midnight oil

Just finished an 8 page paper. I was supposed to only write 4 pages, but I just couldn't do it in 4. Ah, I need to stop getting distracted by the internet! The hardest part about it was the reference sheet. It's so hard to find good sources sometimes.

I'm going to bed now. I'm still thinking about her. I should stop though. =]

Mhmmm

...and now the waiting game begins. I'm looking forward to school tmrw. Basically because one of my classes is cancelled due to furloughs, I've got a hot date with the library and oh yeah, the hottie.

BJ's was good tonight. Naptime.

What goes around....

I went back to Vallejo today, I saw the family and then knocked out on the couch. Woke up as my parents were leaving so I decided to go back to home Sacramento. I stopped at Walmart to get a few groceries and then made the drive back home. I'm looking forward to school this week AND we're making brownies tonight! Also, I hope we have a party soon.

I knew it would happen sooner or later, but I didn't think it would happen this fast. haha, it's karma...

Partying with band kids....

Past 2 nights. Lightweight fun. I wish more "funny" people were around. Good night. Still thinking about this girl. haha. I'll see you at school.

new hype

Tell me why I can't get this girl outta my mind. I thought about her all day. No, really I did. Man she's really beautiful.... I'm gonna talk to her Tuesday... mark my words.

tuition

Tuition will just keep getting higher until it affects everyone's ability to pay for college. Today, it's a relatively small percentage who can't pay tuition; there's no relief in sight.

Why insist on walkouts when there the majority of college students aren't even the lightest bit affected or aware of CSU and UC tuition hikes? (i.e., people who's parents pay for tuition, people with large student loans, grants, etc.) Really? Think about this: Is a walkout of less than 1000 students going to do any good? No. All it is, is a lost/wasted day of instruction that YOU the student pay for. Take advantage of what you're paying (even more) for. Don't try to be a rebel and participate in some half-assed walkout. I'd understand if tens of thousands of students and faculty walked out, but this, this is just foolishness.

before the sheets

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
-- Siddhartha Buddha

Quote of the day

"So, my friend hooked up with this girl, and he didn't use protection, and now he says it hurts when he pees. Anyway, do you think I should go to the doctor?"

Racial Microaggressions

7 snares...

Anyway, here's a short stint of a paper I'm writing...

"In the first grade, I was a student at Junipero Serra Elementary School in the Bernal Heights district of San Francisco. My teacher was Ms. Telles, an Irish-American woman. My class consisted of a very diverse group of ethnic children, with many from poor families, and few white children. Being the rascal I was, I was running around the classroom because I had finished my class work early. I tried to run through a row of desks, but my teacher was sitting in the way of me getting past her. On the other side of my teacher, Courtney, a very nice black girl, was trying to get past the teacher as well. She politely asked the teacher, “Excuse me.” I then, without any pause in dialogue, yelled, “Move it, coming through!” Ms. Telles then got very angry, and looked at both of us on both sides of her, and immediately made the judgment that it was Courtney who made the rude comment of, “Move it, coming through!” and assumed that I was the one who politely said “Excuse me.” Part of me believes that being a first grader, boys and girls voices sound very alike so there would be difficulty in determining whose voice is whose. Ms. Telles then proceeded to scold Courtney about the nature of being a polite young girl. I had no consequence for my action since I was the “white” kid in the situation. This small act had a very detrimental effect on my perception of my teacher. I started to believe that she had some type of negative prejudice with black children. This small form of racial microaggression has been etched in my mind ever since."

I realize that I should have been blamed, but at the time, I was basically speechless because I had never seen my teacher mad at somebody. I didn't want my teacher to be angry with me as much as she was with Courtney. Hmmm. If it means anything now, Courtney, I'm sorry for not taking the blame.

Week 4

School is kicking into a new gear this week. I need to stay ahead of the game. I gotta remind myself to keep going to the library, and keep working my ass off for good grades. It'll be worth it in about 4 years. Fingers crossed.

"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish" - Steve Jobs

P.S. I almost forgot what today was. If you ever read this, think 5 years ago today. Wow, it really has been that long huh?

P.S.S. I'm gonna try and take your advice. I'm gonna try and deal with this all by myself, even though I know it's unhealthy. I'm gonna push my feelings down deeper and hope they go away. What other choice did you leave me? I'm cringing because I can't help myself. My mind is in so many places. So please, show me some kindness, I'm so helpless right now. All I have left is this blog, and I the one spot I made to express my feelings, is now the place where I refuse show how I'm really feeling. Damn.

This is a joke right?

Am I just making a fool out of myself? I don't know. I don't understand. This is really stupid. I'm just gonna go to sleep. Sleep might make me feel better. Maybe. Really though. This is difficult. Ok, time to lie in bed. I over think things. Maybe I'm a girl on the inside. That would explain a lot. Whatever. Goodnight. I need to be in SF tomorrow anyway.

-I'm going to have to admit, I feel quite a bit better already.

I'm volunteering.

I'm doing a service learning project for my Urban Education class. It's basically volunteering/internship work where I get to mentor/tutor grade school kids. I chose an elementary school in Natomas. I get to mentor 1st graders once a week (friday mornings) and help them learn to read and write English. I guess there's some sort of feeling of giving that makes me feel happy that I could be making a difference in someone's life. I hope I do my job well, because I would like a good letter of recommendation for when it's time to submit those applications to grad schools!

Very Productive Day

I spent a good deal of it in the library getting ahead in some classes and catching up in others.

To-do lists are good for me. I think it's the Psychological effect I get because it is a visual representation of what I still need to do.

Oh, and btw, why are you messing with me? I don't understand. I don't even know if it was you.

Anyway, now I need to get back to more HW.

5th

I'll give it about a month. Things will be different. Then I'll laugh. Shut up. Everything changes.

first time

First Time - Josh X-an-tus

I first heard this song on the plane back from NY. I finally found it. All I can say is, wow.

lol. I love this site.

Good Friday

Sleep makes me feel better.

I like tuna sandwiches.

Drove too much.

I'm sunburnt, again.

Drove again too much.

Pleasant surprise from Merdead.

Sorta chill night.

Shut up! It's annoying me!

Vallejo tomorrow for an ortho appointment.

Sleep now, maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

new song.

Out Of The Blue - Ryan Leslie

I love finding songs by accident

Tenor-Cam

Trying to hold back.

I'm tempted to do it, but all it will do is make things worse.

Man, I really wanna slap the guy in front of me. He needs to put his seat back to the upright position. Zsarynne is KO'ed. Justin is doing HW.... I should be doing my HW too on this flight back but I can't think about school when this idiot in front of me decides to put his seat so far back that I can't use my laptop properly.

Rochester Trip

It was a longer trip than I expected, and as I sit here at the airport typing I realize that I'm already sort of sad that the season is over. Renegades placed 6th overall at Finals. We had the best show of the year and I was hyping the whole performance. I was able to get a tenor-cam hooked up to my drums for the last run-thru. I'll try posting the video later. Really though, after all the work I put in, it was worth it.

DCA Finals Night

We placed 6th last night. Tonight I'm gonna leave it all on the field. Woohooo

Night

Today was pretty much just all drumming. We ate at dinosaur bbq again. We also saw about 10 minutes of I&E. Tomorrow is prelims. I'm gonna need a good night's rest before tomorrow's long day. Now I'm thirsty. Well, good night.

Waiting at the airport.

So here I am. Chilling at SFO, waiting for my plane to leave at 11:15pm. I'm pretty excited to go to NY. ONE random thing happened today and I'm not gonna lie, I was actually happy about it... I was glad you called me. Thank you for your apology. It means something to me. Thanks for letting me know what's been happening with you and all.