Dreams

I still have big dreams. Huge dreams. I still have these dreams. And I want to be with someone I can share my dreams with. That's my life goal. 

I don't care if the dreams get slightly changed... It's that I find someone I can have a normal relationship with and accomplish our dreams together. 

Please life, for me, let's do this right...

You

Cause I need to know...

Promise me you'll remember me tomorrow. Because I'll remember you.

Clear

For the first time in a long time... I'm clear.


I feel good. I feel great. Clear mind. Wow. This is what I needed.

The Application

Today was a very decently productive day. I've decided to live a new life. Make something for myself, and do the right things that will lead to a happier and more fulfilled life.

I talked to you again today. I know it was something I didn't want to tell you but I'm glad that I talked to you again. I don't think that getting over you is going to be easy or something that I'm going to want to do. You made me feel disappointed in myself for what happened. I'm sorry for everything.

And you, I'm going to be honest here. I'm just kinda mad at myself... I mean I know I have no right to be mad either... but I am. I made some bad decisions. Sigh, why can't things just be a little better? Things are never going to be the way you want them to be though... I need to continue to learn about myself and keep making the improvements that I need to, to make myself a better person.

And Raymond. Congrats on today. You did a good thing today. You made a lot of progress. You are going to be a champion. You are going to make a difference in other people's lives. 

Live life.

I'm Sorry

Someimes I wonder if I made the right decision. I know I did... I guess, but I just feel like we were two good people in two bad spots in our lives. It sucks, I know, and sometimes i want to talk to you...  I still miss you. I really do. I think about you and realize that you were a great person who i learned a lot from, but I can't forget the things you lied to me about - nor could I really accept those things and continue a life together with those things being a part of our relationship.

I could talk on and on for hours about this subject. And I could literally say I love you still. But I need to move on. For me. 

I believe there are a lot of great things still in store for me.

Goodnight.

First Post of 2015

I found out a new phrase today that I totally could identify with:

"Idle hands are the devil's advocate"

I really need to find purpose in life... no matter what that purpose may be. I just want to feel like the work I do will make an impact. Right now, the job search is cruel. We shall see in the coming weeks whether or not I can find a job. I feel like I need some sort of miracle to get the ball rolling to somewhere. I want this to happen so bad. Let's go Raymond.

Oh btw, Asia was fun. I don't regret anything.