An amazing 2 weeks.

These past 2 weeks have been great. I doubt I'll ever forget all the fun things that happened.

In short:

SJ-Sac-LA-Riverside-SD-LA-Riverside-LA-SJ-SF-SJ


Now, to get back to the gym... I know I let loose with my diet these past 2 weeks. I need to remedy this situation.

My 'last' night

I don't really know what to type right now. I have so many thoughts. I just know that I'm not ready to go back home. I've created something here in SoCal that I don't want to leave. I always have loved coming down here, and now that feeling is multiplied. Maybe after I graduate, I'll move down here permanently. It's really much nicer here. At least I can be much closer to my dad that way. Who knows though... Time will tell.

All I know for sure is that I had a great week here. One I doubt I'll forget. I'll miss you guys.



This song is my jam right now too.

Every December...

Here's to 23 years, R&D... Happy Birthday guys.

Oh and I forgot...

I'm now on my fourth year of keeping an active blog. I still don't see myself stopping for a while... I love reading this journal. It's the best way for me to organize my feelings thru writing so I can interpret my own thoughts. I see so clearly now.

This song reminds me of when I started this blog. Don't you remember the winter you moved to sac??? Staying up all night building your ikea furniture that you still use today??? haha... yup, winter 08. good times.

It all falls down...

Here's the thing. When things are going good for me, I always find a reason to make things go bad.

Also, I'm unhappy because I don't have what I want, so I make things worse because I am frustrated.

Just gotta keep movin' on...

Finishing the semester like a boss.

Lit review = done... Challenge accepted? Challenge complete.

I literally started this literature review 28 hours ago. I worked from 11pm Sunday night until 5am Monday. Then again from 10pm Monday until 3:30ish (right now). Now to proof this bad boy...

Freaking out at 3am

This is what grad school is all about...

Are we there yet?

I can't wait until this semester is over with... I really, really, really just can't wait.

I'm about 1/2 done with what needs to get done before Dec 15th.

I'm looking forward to a nice, long, and relaxing winter break.

It's coming along nicely.

... I'm referring to my Scale Development paper, of course...

I mean, what else would I be referring to???

Haha, *wink wink*

Can't wait for 2 weeks from now. :)

Deep Thoughts?

If people could predict the future...

Why don't people just predict the future of where they originally were going to predict the future?

Just a thought.

I just love life right now. I mean, what's there to hate? Sometimes I don't realize how good I really have it, and not only that, how good I'm going to end up having it down the line in LIFE...

I've got everything I need: ambition, potential, and dreams I want to pursue... I know that I'll be successful one day... Because I have convictions behind the things in life that I want... and no, I don't mean that from a materialistic viewpoint... I'm really talking about how I want my life and everyone around me to benefit from my future success... I want to make the people that have cared for me happy and proud, as well as give back the many things that they've given me and pass these things on. That alone is what drives me to be successful, at whatever I finally decide to do in life.

I don't know if I've already met you, but I wonder where you are.

These are my really deep thoughts. It's almost spooky.

SouthCali Weekend Recap

I could not have asked for a better weekend with my family down in LA. I have plenty of memories from these past few years, but this weekend probably ranks as one of the most memorable.

So me and Zak left on Wednesday... Got into LA around 10pm. First night there, me, Rashad and Omar got really hungry and got some Jack... ;)

Thursday we cooked all day, watched the Niner game, ate dinner, and then prepped for a long night of shopping at Ontario Mills.

Friday I barely got any sleep, but I woke up and went to La Habra to go visit my Dad at my uncle's place. We talked and had a great Thanksgiving dinner (again). After that, I drove home (tired) and crashed.

Saturday morning, I went with Rashad to drop off my aunt and uncle at LAX for their flight to China... Then we went back home and got ready to leave for USC vs. UCLA tailgating action. Later in the night, we went over to this bar by the house (901), and got some drinks... I had came back from the restroom and noticed that there was this really pretty asian girl sitting next to my cousins... So, I did what any interested guy would do and started talking to her... We were completely hitting it off for a while and then my cousins decided it was time to leve and get some dinner... I was kinda disappointed that I was leaving her, and in general, I felt like I was missing out on a HUGE opportunity to really get to know this person... So I made a decision, I told my cousins that I was gonna go back and try my luck with the girl. They were cool about it... So I went back to the bar, repaid cover, and looked for her... Luckily, she was sitting in the exact same spot as she was earlier. I told her that I was sorry I left, but I had to go say bye to my cousin (a little white lie). We talked for a while, and I was completely loving our convo. I asked her if she wanted me to walk her home... so I walked her home... She said she didn't want to go home just yet and that she wanted to keep talking to me, so we went to Dennys (starbucks was packed), and we got some coffee. We talked for another hour, and I really started to like this girl. She was one of those types that you would bring home to your mother: intelligent, beautiful, and in general, a girl that you would love to get to know... (haha). Anyways, we left and I started to walk her home. We got close to her house and we were kind of 'hug-walking' (I was trying to keep her warm)... We stopped walking and started to really hug, and then I went in and kissed her. She didn't want to go home just yet, and luckily my car was parked 2 blocks away... so we sat in my car and just talked for 2 more hours... by this time it was 3am, and we were both tired... I realized that I really liked this girl, and I didn't just want this to be a one time thing, so we exchanged contact info... I told her I'd be back in LA in 3 weeks so I wanted to see her again... I felt like I really connected with her, and she wasn't just any girl you could meet at a bar... She was really down to earth, intelligent, verrrrrry pretty, and she was studying to become a nurse at CSULA... (just my type of girl, haha). I really hope that I get to see her when I come back down next month... She said she hopes to see me again too :)

Yeah, I know, I'm completely smitten, as Lindsay pointed out to me earlier today.

And then came Sunday... A feeling of absolute dread came over me as I woke up earlier knowing that my really amazing weekend was coming to a close. Me, Rashad, and Dahlia went to Jacks N Joe for some breakfast and then it was off to Walnut to say goodbye to my Dad before I left. Picked up Zak and Mona, and before leaving SouthCali, we stopped in Pasadena for some Lunch... The drive home pretty much sucked, but I had a good time talking with Zak and Mona about my newly-formed crush... They gave me some pretty good advice about my situation since they've gone through something similar so I'm not afraid to see where this goes... (I'm hoping somewhere good).

I can't wait til I'm back in Southern Cali again.

Post #2 of the night: Should I light a candle?

Anyway, what else has been on my mind lately?

Relationships.

There are some things in life which one should just avoid at all costs. It's like those relationships people have where once things go past friendship, it can never return to its previous state. When friends have mutual feelings, and they both agree to a relationship, things will never ever be the same. It will always be awkward, even if things end well... or worse, the friendship ceases to exist after a bad breakup... But what if things ended up perfectly? As in a successful marriage with beautiful children? That's something I'm still waiting to see with my own eyes... and probably won't see for a long time.

Sometimes I feel like I struggle to keep away from the temptations of love. Once I start to develop feelings for someone, it's hard for me to NOT pursue those feelings or tell them about it... most of the time, it ends up with my heart being broken, and an awkward friendship afterward. Or even sometimes, it gets so awkward that we just can't be friends anymore.

I've already made up my mind that I don't wanna get married til at least the age of 28. But, what if, I end up falling for someone before then? Like even if I end up falling in love with someone in the coming year? It's entirely possible. What am I supposed to do? Follow my heart or follow my logic? We all know that love is irrational and at many times illogical... What would I do?

Plus, there are days where I feel like I just want to be with someone... for whatever reason (companionship, the physical aspect, or just the feeling of being wanted/loved)... I mean, I want to focus on my studies and making a successful career for myself... and to me that means avoiding love and all of its temptations at all costs. But still, what if I just fall for a girl? I won't be able to help myself. I know myself too well to think that I can fall for a girl and not desire and pursue a romantic relationship. This is probably going to be the biggest obstacle that I will face in the next 5 years of life -- my quest to attain a higher education vs. my love of love. Of course, the win-win situation will be finding a woman who is just as passionate as I am for a higher education, and so our relationship will be 2nd priority to finishing graduate school.

One can only hope. One thing's for sure, time will definitely tell.

I've always thought about this...

... and I guess I finally figured it all out.

Our lives outside of school aren't that much different.

Yet, I feel like I don't have the same social life you do.

It's the distance.

Missing all the good times from back with my homies in Sac.

If it ain't broke...

don't fix it.

Why am I questioning my current method of doing things? I need to stick with what has been working all along, and forget all the critics.

Y'all never did anything to help me anyways.