Right now - I can't describe my emotions

I should be really excited and happy. But I feel like there's something missing. I'm not sure what that something is. I feel like I need to start over... I want to start over. I want to...

Learning to live more profoundly

I am learning to live life more fully everyday... Live more while consuming less... We all could learn that there's more to life than we currently think...

That's a goal I can get behind.

I want to learn about my spirit...
I want to learn about my thirst...
I want to learn about my ... self... what drives me? What drives you?

Can we all be better people and just learn to give back to others?

Strictly Technical

I really want to learn more of the programming skills that my job has to offer. I see it coming very soon in the future...

You

You're not who I thought you were.

Emotionally

Emotions have been really high lately... everything seems to be filled with emotion...

Keep going

This is what it's all about... what's the next stop???

I don't know.. and that's good.

intensity

Why do I need intensity to feel alive?

Is this true of most people, or just me?

Sigh...

idk if I should keep going, or if I should go back to what's comfortable...

Signing off.

Dad

Dad,

I hope you understand how much I think of you... and how much I wanted to know who you were... what you were like... I think it would help me understand why I am the way I am today....


I miss you Dad.

I could use your advice.

Last night

I love the feeling of when you are connecting with another human being. In brain biology, it's the same as a drug's effect on the brain.


A strong rush of dopamine... it's a great motivating driver for our behaviors... that's why love is so powerful.

And I failed again...

Barely making it these days... The struggle is real...

The urge...

I have this urge to wanna blog again... but I have nothing to blog about...


My job is pretty tough so far... I'm only training -- but my head is straight up spinning...

A lot to cover/learn in a short amount of time...

I'm refreshed though!


Hopefully tmrw night goes well!

Signing off -- Raymond

The life

Some would say that where I am in life, right now, is the "primetime" of my life. It's time to get out there, be foolish, have fun, meet cool people, and just enjoy life...

There will never be a time as good as I have it now, where I will have my youthful/childishness/playfulness the same as I have it now.


Let's go out and enjoy the life, because it's such a beautiful one, at that...

Signing off...

-Raymond

Starting over...

At long last... I feel free again... I can do what I want. Freedom to do as I please...


Some might say that being single is necessary for self-discovery...

At least it's fun....

It's been a while since I've left my heart on my sleeve.

My heart can’t take this anymore.
I can’t being alone anymore.
I am alone in this relationship for two...
We say we are in a relationship, but we can’t be together.
this doesn’t make sense...

Why should I continue to torture myself?